Donna is busy helping Marley prepare for the cotillion. Marley had the dream again last night.
Jake's getting ready with Victoria's help. He's sort of in a nutty mood. Victoria: Jake. I'm hungry. Jake: well, I've got a granola bar. He agreed to go and get her real Smiley's food. She says she'll think of something to do.
Felicia arrived at Cass'. Vaguely depressed. Dee appeared in curlers and a large T-shirt brandishing a painted fingernail. Dee: look at this. Just take a look at this. Cass: Dee, one usually paints all five nails. Dee: does this look like apricot frappe you? It's hideous. Felicia: I don't know, I kind of like it. Dee: your nephew is going to take one look at this hand and barf. Cass: Dee, we're under a bit of a time crunch here, you know? Dee: this scarlet is so obvious. Felicia: your nephew? Cass: Dee's escort. Dee honey I promise that he won't even mind about the nail polish But he'll be very upset if you're not wearing a dress. Dee: Boy Felicia I'm so glad you're coming tonight-Felicia: honey, I'm not going tonight. Dee: what? Oh, well, great. GOSH. [exit Dee.] Cass: that bit of news calmed her down considerably. Felicia: Cass. Cass: what you mean you're not coming tonight? Felicia: well never mind about that. Dee said that she's going with your nephew? Cass: yeah, that's what she said. Felicia: you don't have a nephew. Cass: I don't? Felicia: no, you don't. Cass: oh. Felicia: now, would you like to start by telling me the truth?
Perry was surprised and pleased to discover Grant was manager of the Northwoods Inn and not in the least disappointed to discover it was closed. Dee and Nancy are at Smiley's dressed to the nines. He told her they were going someplace special. Kissing. Jake looked at them squiggle-eyed.
Grant and Quinn knew about the highway. They're depressed. Quinn said it was too bad they couldn't have dinner at the Northwoods Inn. Grant took her up on it and dashed off to prepare.
Cass: the truth? Felicia: why do you do that? Cass: do what? Felicia: whenever you don't want to answer something you start with those silly innocent little questions. Cass: I do? Felicia: yes. And then you get indignant,--Cass: I do not. Felicia: and then I'm going to worm it out of you in the end anyway. Cass: Dee's escort is not my nephew. Felicia: I know that. Since you don't have nephew it was an easy leap to the fact that she is not going with him. Cass: you know you're right, you always worm it out of me. Felicia: Cass. Cass: what? Felicia: I know who it isn't. What I want to know is who it is. Cass: you see, I didn't think I should take her. If she went with someone her own age she'd have more fun. Felicia: look, I'm going to find out the truth. Cass: I thought that if I took her it would attract attention. Felicia: who is it? Cass: I call him Dirk. Felicia: Dirk? Where in the world did you ever meet a Dirk? Cass: well, it's a -- professional relationship. Felicia: you mean you got a colleague of yours to take Dee to the cotillion and his name is Dirk? Cass: I sure he's going to be a very good escort because he um --does it professionally. Felicia: does what professionally? Cass: um -- escort. [deadly pause] Felicia: I am going to kill you. I am going to kill you. Cass: don't fly off the handle. Felicia: fly off the handle? I am really going to kill you this time. Cass: oh, Felicia, I expected more from you than that. Felicia: What? What? Cass: this is the '80s. Gigolo is such an archaic term. Felicia: I don't care what you call it. Cass: ssh. He provides a service. Felicia: Do you have any idea what he does for a living? Cass: he dates, he dates for a living. Felicia: oh really, and why, so he can put himself through undergraduate school? Cass: ssh. He dates very well. I assure you Dee is going to be in very good hands. I didn't mean it that way. Felicia: Cass. Cass: what? Felicia: Okay. We'll approach it from another way. You know how long it's taken you to get Dee ready for this night, right? Cass: oh, please. Felicia: you, then, of all people, should know the tough audience this kid is going to face, Cass: oh, she'll be fine-Felicia: and you've got her on the arm of some guy who DATES for a living? Cass: He's very good. He's very very good. He could fool anybody. Felicia: anybody. Really. And what about Dee? She told Cass Dee was very sensitive and what if she found out? Finds out what said Dee suspiciously.
Donna enthused about the cotillion to Marley. About getting swept off her feet. She wasn't allowed to go with her boy. Mother and Daddy had her go with James Emmett Sanford. She changed the subject. She told Marley she wanted tonight to be beautiful and innocent. Marley's confused. She's submitting to Donna's enthusiasm.
Felicia and Cass said they'd been talking about Lily. Dee was appeased. Cass went to change. Dee's nervous. Felicia gave her a talk about being Fanny Grady and if she had a daughter she'd want her to be like Dee and she should be herself. Dee said she was smart. Felicia told her she thought people pushed her around because they didn't realize how she felt. She advised her to tell people what she fell. No matter what. Dee decided she was right and went to get ready.
Jake approached Nancy. She likes white dinner jackets [as he is wearing. I can tolerate it on him but I have to draw the line somewhere]. Perry returned and said they were dining at the Northwoods Inn after all. He had a dizzy spell. [and I worried about him the fink.] He was surprised that Jake was going to the cotillion with Marley and that he was eating. Jake explained the food satisfactorily and left. Perry asked Nancy if she trusted Jake. She told him all about the sneaking around the records room [her part too] and she does trust him sort of. They left. Perry's still strange about Jake and Marley. He had a coughing fit.
Cass is taking fits waiting for Dee get ready. Felicia brought her out. They said she looked beautiful. Felicia left warning Cass to take care of her. Dee wants to talk to Cass before Dirk gets there.
Victoria likes Jake's looks. He's got to go. She's still sounding jealous. She wishes he were coming to call on her and they were going together. He said he was hers. He left.
Donna raved about Marley to Bridget. Victoria called Bridget and said she was coming tonight. Bridget told her to wait for Jake but she said she wouldn't.
Tom and Carter and Nancy and Perry are being served by Grant and Quinn at the inn. Perry is persisting with his illness. He asked Nancy to dance. When they got up Tom & Carter said some cryptic things about them leading me to believe that Perry is plotting furiously or something and they're in on it. Nancy's worried about him. She thinks they should leave. She calls him sweetie. He's afraid they WON'T HAVE ENOUGH GAS TO GET HOME. They left. Perry made conspiratorial gestures to Carter & Tom on his way out.
Dee tried to tell Cass she loved him madly. The best she could manage was she was very fond of him. He was deliberately thick. [she said she'd hated his guts to begin with and Cass the egomaniac in order to circumvent her confession said she was a shrewd judge of character.] The Joneses arrived. The grandmother was a bit annoyed that Cass isn't escorting Dee but Cass swore up and down Dee would be all right. Dirk arrived. Cass had forgotten his last name but Dirk covered for him. He gave Dee a rose. Mrs. Jones thinks everything will be all right. She and Tony left. Dee's kind of scared. She asked Cass for a kiss for luck. [this was Kathleen's approach way back in Majorcan November.] he kissed her on the cheek. They're ready to go now.
Carter and Tom wonder whether Grant and Quinn are actually having fun waiting on them. Tom: you know, I'd like to do this for Otis. Carter: Otis? Tom: Well, I can't just keep calling him "hey you." Carter: you're not really serious, are you? Otis? Tom: only if it's a girl. They're happy. Carter's not mad at Quinn any more. He asked her [Tom] to dance. She got a little lightheaded when she stood up. Carter made her sit down. He wanted to call the doctor or Quinn or somebody but she refused and gamely got up to dance with him. They're happy.
A crowd of strange debs giggling. Dirk's gone to get Dee punch. Dee's paranoid. She thinks the debs are laughing at her. Cass said she had more class than anyone there. "Except you," she said. The Joneses appeared. The debs keep giggling. Tony's thinking of getting a membership to the country club. Tony went off for punch. Mrs. Royer appeared and was introduced to Mrs. Jones. She said the presentation would be in about 15 minutes and Dee and her escort should be going upstairs. Dirk appeared and Mrs. Royer looked horrified and dropped her glass. She rushed off claiming she had things to do. Dee asked if Dirk usually had that effect on women. He said not and dashed off to get punch. Cass suggested Dee fix her face. She excused herself. Tony asked Cass what exactly Dirk did for a living. Dee ran into Marley and Jake and Donna. They adore each other. Donna panicked because Marley was sans gants. Ohne Handshuhe. She rushed home to get them before the presentation.
Victoria's at the Love mansion playing with the chandeliers. Bridget's in a panic. Victoria says she wants to get a feeling for the house. Victoria wants to see Marley's bedroom ALONE. Bridget's absolutely terrified. Victoria called her dear heart and told her not to be so worried because they had all the time in the world.
Dee sat down to freshen her face but when she heard a couple of other debs coming she fled to where she couldn't be seen. They spoke cattily of HER dress and the grandmother's dress and Mamie Eisenhower. Once said she was sorry for her because of something too horrible about her escort. The second didn't know anything horrible about him so she was filled in. He's a gigolo and everybody knows it and he's being PAID to escort Dee. Dee looked crushed. Apparently A CERTAIN HUSBAND at some point found A CERTAIN WIFE with Dirk in the caddy shack.
Perry "ran out of gas." He and Nancy stumbled around in the shrubbery in the dark. She took fits. He left her for a moment and she got even more upset. They came upon "dinner for two" in a clearing. An ecstatic squealing Nancy flung herself into his arms.
Donna returned home and went to get the gloves. Bridget said "Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh dear." Victoria's in Marley's room poking around in her things. Trying on her jewellery. Donna's approaching the door.
I HATE PERRY. I could've forgiven him if he hadn't taken her to the Northwoods Inn first and if they hadn't dressed up or if he'd been the sort of person I'd expect this from.
It wouldn't be reasonable for Catlin to stay in Bay City if he chooses Britt. Think what black-hearted Alice could do to him at the hospital. I'd do plenty. Diagnose appendicitis and various other things with intent to remove as many vital organs as possible in the process.