A parcel came for Rachel. The Corys would give her no peace until she opened it. Mac: I don't see how anyone can let something like that just SIT there. Ada: she's done it all her life. It drives me crazy. Rachel: all right, I'll open it. Will you shut up then? Mac: yes I'LL shut up will you shut up Ada? Ada: I'LL shut up. Nancy? Nancy: I'd do anything Rachel wanted if she'd open that BOX. Rachel: OH, NO. Mac: darling, is something wrong? Rachel: I HOPE not. [She opened the box and a white hand popped out holding an envelope. Everyone else burst out laughing.] I don't believe this. Not again. NOT AGAIN.
Edouard told Michaud to call Felicia now. Zane answered because she's still in the shower. Felicia appeared and took the call. Michaud told her something had come up and he needed her immediately.
Bridget asked Victoria if she were all right. Victoria: I am feeling GREAT, I just feel WONDERFUL, Marley and Jake are off being godparents together, just being Perfect together. Bridget raved about having brought up a spoiled brat whereas Marley was a lady [yes but one gets the feeling that it's IN SPITE OF Donna rather than BECAUSE of her]. Marley called to ask Victoria to come to the christening. Victoria said she had a lot to do and hung up.
Marley made excuses to the gathering. Carter went to change the baby. Quinn and Tom went to help him. "Why do I get the feeling you don't trust me?" "we TRUST you. We just like to laugh at you." Tom asked Marley to answer the door. Jake was standing on the mat with his gift, wearing a sort of purplish shirt and a tie. After standing about foolishly for some minutes he came in. Jake: I've never been a godfather before. [He sounds ill at ease, and rather like Sally when she said she'd never been to Wyoming before. Just babbling for the sake of making conversation.] So I didn't know what to get him. I bought him a spoon. Marley: can I get you some coffee or anything? Jake: yeah, that would be nice. I guess that's kind of stupid, huh, getting him a spoon. He's probably already got one. It's — it's sterling. It's engraved. Marley: I don't know what you take in your coffee. Jake: are you happy now? I really feel like a jerk. Are you happy? Marley: sorry. Jake: are you? Sorry? Why don't you talk to me? Marley: I don't really think there's anything to say. Jake: I DO Marley. He managed to spill the coffee by jerking her arm. Enter Grant to interrupt the discussion. And Dee. And the Todds and Quinn from the bedroom. They insisted on taking a picture of the godparents together. Looking like they like each other with Jake's arms about Marley.
Victoria spoke at length to Bridget about how Marley was doing the right thing. Bridget told her she was spoiled. Victoria said she'd do the right thing and go to the christening to prove Bridget had raised a real lady. Bridget gave her a crocheted blanket to give and say she'd made.
Felicia told Michaud she had to go to Grant's christening this morning and she wanted to spend this last afternoon with Zane. Michaud went weird and pushed the importance down her throat. Edouard told him to stop but he kept at her until she gave in. He said she wouldn't be sorry. Edouard told Michaud of for trying to sabotage Felicia's life because of Zane.
Felicia apologized to Zane. She wanted to spend the afternoon with him. Felicia: I was going to pretend I was a sailor's wife and I was sending my husband off to sea. Zane: well you don't have to pretend. I mean we're not married yet but you are sending me off to sea. Felicia: no, I'm sending you off to LAKE. It doesn't have quite the same ring. Zane: true. Sorry. They're going to miss each other miserably. Felicia thinks Michaud wanted more than he was telling. She doesn't know what.
Rachel: you swore to me you SWORE you'd never do this. Mac: I lied. Rachel: I don't care I'm not going to do this Mac I'm not going to get myself involved in this. I'm not going to go through this again. Mac: I don't know what you're getting so excited about you haven't even opened the envelope. Rachel: I don't have to I know what is in there some dumb clue some DUMB CLUE that nobody could POSSIBLY figure out. Mac: don't you mean that YOU couldn't possibly figure out? Rachel: because it's DUMB and it's about a present and it's supposed to be cute and I'm supposed to be grateful. Ada: it is SUCH a trial. Nancy: I feel so bad for her. Ada: d'ye know I remember once when she had three of these things to figure out. Nancy: not THREE. Ada: three. And Mac gave her a car that cost more than my house. Nancy: how could she stand it? Rachel: you're not funny you know neither of you are funny. Nancy: do you remember how she got so upset when she had to guess all the clues before Mac gave her that new townhouse? Ada: OH, HOW she suffered. Mac: do you suppose it could possibly by any stretch of the imagination be because she never gets a clue? Rachel: it's a great deal of fun to be talked about in the third person. Ada: you never get any of the clues. Mac: no, not one [hysterical giggles emanated from this man] Rachel: I never tried. Look, Mac, I think it's very generous of you to do this but I've got to be honest about this this is just a little childish. Mac: oh, NO oh NO Rachel [he collapsed at her feet. He and Ada laughed their heads off.] Rachel: this is EXTREMELY childish. [more laughter] Nancy: I thought she hated it so much because she was so bad at it. Rachel: I am NOT bad at it. Ada: well you ain't GOOD at it. Rachel: you ALL always do this to me. All right, I'm going to do this. I'm going to get EVERY SINGLE clue, I'll show you. Mac: you're going to ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE. Rachel: or I won't accept the present. Mac: WHAT? Rachel: if I don't get every single one of these clues you're going to have to take your present whatever it is back to where it came from. Mac: OOOOOOH, there's no hope, no, none. Rachel: and you all think you're so smart. Well I'll show you.
Tom asks Jake to give Marley a ride to the church. Marley said she'd rather ride with the baby. She left with Tom. Carter went to look for Grant. MJ sneaked in with a huge teddy bear. MJ: Kathleen and I told ourselves that this was extravagant and that he didn't really need it but just look at that face isn't that the best face you've ever seen? [She kissed the bear.] Jake: yeah. It's great. MJ looked at his strange features strangely. MJ: kinda like yours. She asked what was bothering him. He told her he just messed up something important and rushed out after Carter.
Rachel: I hate these I hate these. Nancy: why don't I just help you? Rachel: I think that Mac has a sadistic streak I really do. Nancy: yeah, cars and houses, I wish he'd be that cruel with me. Rachel: but it doesn't MEAN anything. It doesn't mean anything at all. Nancy: Rachel these are PUNS you've got to figure them out. Rachel: HOW? Nancy: I'll give you a clue. Melina Mercouri's nationality is — Rachel: Greek. Nancy: right. And R is a pun for the letter R. What is the Greek letter R? Rachel: [looking very suspiciously] RHO? Nancy: yes. Okay. A governor lives in a — Rachel: a mansion. Nancy: so you put the two together an what do you get? Rachel: RHOMANSION. Nancy: NO, shorter. Rachel: ROMAANSS — ROMANCE! What twisted mind would think of anything like that? Nancy: sorry but I'm late. Rachel: he tells you about these, he tells you the answers, doesn't he? Nancy: AH. Why would he do a thing like that? Enter Brian. Brian: who would do something like what? Rachel: MAC CORY, the skunk. I'll get him for you. Exit Rachel. Brian: another treasure hunt. They discussed treasure. Nancy thought about Daphne saying there were tombs with billions of dollars worth of things just lying around in them. She asked Brian about things like that. He told her the Egyptians wouldn't let her take their treasure. Enter Rachel. Rachel: Brian Mac is in his study taking the wings off of flies. Won't you join us? Brian: thanks, Rachel. Exit Brian. Daphne dropped by to see Rachel. She gave Nancy an open invitation to visit. Nancy asked to hear more about the treasure sometime and rushed off to the christening.
The christening is in full swing. The minister [the same one who married Carter and Tom] spoke at great length about the wonderfulness of the godparents. Victoria in the doorway began crying. Nancy ran up to Vic just as the ceremony ended. Victoria's crying furiously. She shoved the gift at Nancy saying Marley had forgotten it and rushed off. Inside Dee sang a song for Grant Perry.
Rachel: I solved the first one. It really was very simplistic. Brian: thank you. Mac: I'd like some too, dear. Rachel: the answer was ROMANCE. Brian:. Mac: you see how she ignores me? Just pretends I'm not here. Rachel: it's lovely weather we're having isn't it? Mac: and it really was a simple clue. Anyone could have got it. Brian: oh, yes, anyone. Mac: now you'd better not say that. She'll ignore you too. Rachel: I would never do that. That's a childish thing to do. I'm not the childish one around here. Brian: I don't think there's a childish person in this house. We are all very mature. Enter Ada. Ada: anybody order a sheep? Rachel: oh, NO. Brian: what did you say? Ada: there's a sheep on the lawn., with a great big pink bow on its neck. Mac: is that all? Rachel: do you think the sheep should be wearing MORE than a pink bow? Ada: he meant this. Rachel: oh, what a surprise. It's a bottle on a tray. And a sheep in the front lawn. Brian: Mac, didn't you say that you wanted to go over the MacTavish accounts. Mac: is this a good time Brian? Brian: it is for me. Mac: it's a good time for me too. Let's go. Rachel: MAC. Mac: OH. She SPOKE to me. Rachel: WHAT ABOUT THE SHEEP? Mac: what about the sheep? Rachel: who's going to get rid of the sheep? Max: the sheep will go when you get the clue. Brian: and that shouldn't take any time at all.: oh, you've already got it? Brian: yes, right away. Didn't you? Ada: well I'm not too good at these things. It took me a couple of minutes. Brian: oh. Rachel: well that's not funny you know. I mean you probably didn't guess it he probably told you. None of you have guessed it probably. [they filtered out.] I mean he told you didn't he? He told you. It's okay. I can do this. I can do this. I'll do it. I will NEVER be able to do this.
Victoria ran home and threw herself at Bridget's knees sobbing. She was inarticulate in her grief.
Everybody's having a swell time at the party except Jake. Grant: how about him graduating on to Ivy league for his PhD? Quinn: sounds good to me. now is there any part of Grant II's life we haven't mapped out for him? Grant: well you know I think we ought to leave a little room for some spontaneous meddling. Grant suddenly loosened his collar but would not admit to angina. Dee asked Marley to wait in their apartment for a delivery for the baby. Zane is almost too good to be true. HA. Felicia did say he was out of his mind. The strange thing is it doesn't bother her.
Edouard is pessimistic. Michaud dismisses Zane as a fisherman. Edouard doesn't underestimate him. Daphne looked in to say she was sick of doing Michaud's neglected work and she was going to do research of her own. Edouard told Michaud she was right. Michaud lives only for the reunion.
Victoria said she'd run away without going in because she can see Jake and Marley are in love in spite of themselves. She scared because Jake's allegiance is in Marley's hands. All she can do is pray Marley will throw him over.
Felicia's happy. Wallingford's impressed. Carter asked Jake to fetch some glasses from Dee's apartment. It is of course a plot to get him to talk to Marley.
Ada: that sheep sure looks cute with that great big pink bow around its neck, doesn't it? Rachel: no it doesn't. Grown up sheep aren't cute. What's the pink bow for? Ada: maybe it's a girl sheep. Rachel: I knew that. Ada: oh. you DID? Rachel: I wasn't born yesterday. Ada: oh. You WEREN'T? Oh, well listen, what is the word for a girl sheep anyway? Rachel: A EWE. EWE. That's it. ETA: very good. Rachel: what does a ewe have to do with this? They [Ada] figured out that the bottle on the tray was diet tonic ∴ the diatonic scale with a line a third of the way up ∴ do re MI [Rachel: the diatonic scale. How do you know about the diatonic scale? Ada: look if you had been a member of the Bay City Golden Eagle marching band you would know. But you didn't want to join. Rachel: their costumes were tacky.] Rachel: what kind of lunatic would put a sheep on the front lawn just to say you and me? Enter Mac. Mac: Darling you mustn't feel threatened just because you don't have that kind of mind. Look how artistic you are. Rachel: I think my amnesia is coming back. Do I know you? Ada: I'm leaving. I cannot STAND domestic strife. [Mac has got another fit of the giggles.] Rachel: well while you're at it would you get the sheep off the front lawn? [Exit Ada.] You know you're driving me CRAZY. Mac: I don't mean to sweetheart. Rachel: yes you DO. You do the London Times crossword puzzle every week. That drives me crazy too. Mac: think how good you're going to feel when you finally solve one all by yourself. Rachel: I don't give you tests Mac I don't ask you to SCULPT things. Mac: yes I know. That's why we have a perfect marriage. Rachel: WHY? Mac: 'cos I love to make up puzzles and you can't solve them. Enter Ada. Ada: MAC. You remember that rosebush you've been taking care of for about two years? Mac: yeah, my Dinah Shore variety. Ada: that's the one. Mac: you know I think it's finally going to bloom beautifully this spring. Ada: no it isn't. Mac: why not? Ada: the sheep ate it. Dinah Shore is no more. Rachel burst out laughing.
Jake found Marley. He was dear and sweet and kind and humble and told her he loved her. She was belligerent. He asked for another chance. He apologized for everything and made as if to go. She asked him not to go.
Rachel armed with a thesaurus got the next clue. Adventure.
Zane and Felicia said their private goodbyes. They kissed a lot.
Michaud came to get Edouard to prepare him to meet Felicia.
Jake stayed. She's at a loss. he suggested they put everything behind them. He said he loved her. She said she needed time to think. He said he'd come back tonight and if they couldn't work this out he'd leave. And for once she should do what she wanted not what she ought.