Cass demanded his champagne from Felicia. "People who don't pay their debts get into trouble." Felicia asked exactly what he offered Kathleen. Cass: I don't remember the exact words, but we very clearly described a romantic date with all the trimmings., to which Kathleen replied something to the effect of "in a pig's eye" or something charming like that. We're just friends, Felicia. Just friends. Felicia told him he was a moron and Kathleen probably had romantic intent in inviting him over tonight. They bet double or nothing that Kathleen cares.
MJ said that spaghetti didn't say romance to her so perhaps something French. Most emphatically not, said Kathleen. Nothing French. Kathleen's going to have candles on the table etc. MJ: Kathleen, I just don't know if this is the way to impress Cass. I mean, he's a man of the world -- Kathleen: No no no, I can make it work, MJ, all he needs is a hint. I mean, he'll see that I'm -- a woman, and I'm not just one of his buddies. And I'm just as vulnerable as Dominique, aren't I? (She said viciously brandishing a knife.) MJ: Yeah, sure. Kathleen: Okay. So all he needs is a hint.
Emily called Carl and demanded the records of the babies. She said if he didn't bring them she'd tell the police. They're to meet in a warehouse. 657 Fairmont St. At 6 p.m.
Felicia told Cass he wasn't to ignore Kathleen's feelings. Cass maintained that there's nothing between them. He made further chauvinistic statements. He thinks all of the McKinnons will be present.
Kathleen cautioned MJ to go easy on the garlic in her spaghetti sauce. Kathleen let Prometheus out. MJ doesn't want Kathleen to pin her hopes on this evening.
Carl has all of the Love foundation in cash in Zurich. He's got a jet prepared.
Peter left instructions for Donna to call the police at ten to six. She doesn't want him to go with Emily. He says he'll be arrested for aiding and abetting a fugitive. He told her not to tell anyone that Emily had been there. Donna: Peter, I don't understand you. You're so DIFFERENT.
Sally's hacking up vegetables in the cabin preparatory to Catlin's return from the academy. He got there and she was pleased to see him. He was surprised to see her. She chatted about dinner and dessert (DESSERT) and the like. He was silentish. He's brought Joe (the dying man) home to help with Kevin's bed. They chatted about Lieutenant Graham. It is said that Catlin does well in the physical bits and Joe does well in the written bits so Sally suggested they help each other. Sally removed the candles from the table.
Perry came to see Carl. He was shown Hutchins Sr.'s suicide gun. And told the story of David and Absalom. Carl can't have dinner with him tonight. Perry didn't understand the story of David and Absalom. Carl had to go.
Ten to six rolled around. Donna was going to call the police but Marley bounded in and asked if she could have a Valentine's party. Marley kept chattering about details until Donna got rid of her. She called the police. Kathleen is wandering about in a slip and curlers and singing. She's unnervous. She went to let the dog in. MJ got a call to go join in capturing Carl. Prometheus had a run in with a skunk. MJ left. The spaghetti sauce began to SMOKE and in her haste she knocked it off the stove and all over the floor. And Prometheus climbed up on the table and pushed off the plates and candles and tablecloth. MY DINNER she wailed/moaned.
Peter and Emily are awaiting Carl. Peter will go in first and Emily will follow when he flashes his torch. They'll always love each other. Emily went in before he flashed.
Cass left. Wallingford and Cecile I MEAN FELICIA are having dinner at Cecile's. Dutch treat.
Sally finished preparing dinner. Catlin wants Kevin to like the bunk bed. Sally says he will. He's been raving about BUNK BEDS for months. Sally and Catlin asked Joe to stay to dinner but he declined. "Three's a crowd, especially when you're about to get married." Joe left. Sally restored the candles to the table and ensconced herself in his lap. All of a sudden Catlin isn't hungry (unlike Jamie, who was). Presumably they'll begin with DESSERT. For shame. Even Mac and Rachel eat dinner first.
Peter scolded Emily. She wouldn't go back out. She called out to a silhouette through a door. The man shot at them.
Felicia and Wallingford are having Chinese food. Felicia thinks p'r'aps Cass really is stupid and can't see how Kathleen feels. Wallingford thinks they should stay out of it now. Felicia's going to turn her attention to her own love life instead. She's thinking of hiring a new chauffeur. Wallingford offered his services but she reminded him he can't drive. And she'd rather have Sean Connery. They sing really badly.
Kathleen is crying. She's on her knees deskunking Prometheus, whose mouth is all orangey. Spaghetti sauce colour. Her knees are orange. "You smell. OH. What a mess. HOW COULD YOU GET IN FRONT OF A SKUNK LIKE THAT, YOU STUPID, where are your brains, huh? Of all the times. You know you have perfect timing, skunk breath. Just when I was about to -- oh, never mind. 'S not your fault, I guess. Just when I was about to have a nice, romantic time, y'know. I was just going to have a candlelit dinner. Oh, Cass wouldn't've cared anyway. I'm not his TYPE. Y'know that's it in a nutshell, Prometheus, I'm just not his type. I mean how could he go for somebody who has a dog who's skunked up the whole place and has to have her sister cook the spaghetti and then she ruins it anyway, huh? Why can't -- never mind. I'll just tell him to forget it, all right, just forget it, Cass, just go away. Just forget about the dinner just forget about everything. Oh, don't feel too bad, Prometheus. It's not your fault. Whoever said life was fair, huh? " During this harangue Cass came in and listened. He left when she said to forget it. (She didn't see him.)
More shots. The police arrived. MJ shot. The man fell.
Kathleen's sniffling. Cass called and said to make up for being late he'd take her to the Northwoods Inn tonight and apologize to her family. She's happy. "I am going to be so vulnerable he'll never know what hit him."
The man's dead and NOT CARL. MJ's distraught. He has a moustache.
Carl sought out Donna in her room and told her he knew Emily'd been there (he traced Emily's call). She denied it. "Don't LIE to me, Donna . . . when my love swears that she is made of truth, I do believe her though I know she lies." He pulled out his gun and pushed her. She fell to the bed.
How long does it take normal people to become policemen? More to the point, how long is it going to take Catlin?
Editor's note: Stephen Schnetzer was making a personal appearance in a mall and signed a page of the synopses for us.