Humour2

Xenophilia

CULTURAL DIFFERENCES EXPLAINED
Courtesy: Don Lee.

Aussies:   Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans 
	         when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits:     Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.
 
Aussies:   Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits:     Believe that you should look out for those people who 
		 belong to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of
                 themselves.
Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.
 
Aussies:   Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively 
		 patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they 
		 can be bothered to sing them.
Brits:     Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to 
		 perform the anthem.
 
Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American 
		 channels.
Brits:     Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels.
Aussies:   Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there 
		 watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.
 
Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, 
		 and basketball.
Brits:     Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and 
		 rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, 
		 hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, 
		 playing baseball.
Aussies:   Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the 
		 Poms in every sport they play them in.
 
Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English".
Brits:     Pronounce their words differently, but still call it 
		 "English".
Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.
Aussies:   Add "G'day", "mate" and a heavy accent to everything 
		 they say in an attempt to get laid.
 
Brits:     Shop at home and have goods imported because they live 
		 on an island.
Aussies:   Shop at home and have goods imported because they live 
		 on an island.
Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & 
		 liquor in a backwards country.
Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & 
		 liquor in a backwards country.
 
Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
Brits:     Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
Aussies:   Drink anything with alcohol in it.
 
Americans: Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally 
		 suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally 
		 suspect.
Brits:     Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and 
		 failure are inherited things.
Aussies:   Seem to think that none of this matters after several 
		 beers.