Ottawa Sun
First of all, I want to thank Billy Graham for the kind words he had to say about my column in his opening night sermon at the Corel Centre.
I want to thank him for understanding and appreciating where it was I was coming from with it, which is more than I can say for several people who left messages on my voice mail and profess to be Christians.
They were in the minority among those who called over my Thursday column in which I put forth a number of questions for Billy Graham to clear up some of the honest confusions I have over Christianity -- a few of the questions which he directly addressed from the pulpit -- but they were disturbing just the same.
Especially since these callers claimed to be true "Christians."
"You say you're a believer," said one woman. "If you were a believer, you wouldn't be asking such foolish questions. Shame on you. You ask why God doesn't answer all prayers. Maybe He doesn't answer yours because you're not worth it. You'd better ask God's forgiveness for the article you wrote."
I don't think so.
If it didn't offend Billy, I doubt it offended God.
I suggest the woman caller is the one who needs to explore the true meaning of Christianity.
"Your shot at Jesus for never laughing in paintings of Him is inexcusable," said another woman caller.
"Jesus didn't go around guffawing like a jack-ass, because He is our Lord. Laughing and joking around would have lowered Him to the level of we sinners. Would you be in a laughing, joking mood if you were carrying the burdens of humanity's sins? I suggest you leave Jesus alone if you don't want to go to Hell."
I suggest this woman does not know what she is talking about. Because two people phoned me to say there actually is a well-known painting of Jesus splitting his sides in mirth.
"It's called The Laughing Christ," said a male caller, "and it shows Jesus with his head thrown back in a great, big, huge laugh. It's a wonderful painting. I think maybe He was amused at the state of the world."
Well, there you go; I've learned something.
"You asked whether God has a sense of humor and is it okay to tell funny, but tasteful God jokes," said a friend of mine. She then added: "Of course -- and anyone who'd make a kangaroo has a sense of humor."
I'll buy that.
I'll go further: Anyone who'd make a human being has a sense of humor.
I don't think God would send somebody to Hell for the following joke: "The Lord has made me a believer in re-incarnation. Nobody could get as stupid as my boss in just one lifetime."
Or: "The famous evangelist heard God's voice telling him: 'Billy, each of your sermons is better than the next'."
I think Billy would laugh at that one.
Another caller: "Shame on you for asking Rev. Graham if there was ever a time he questioned his Christian faith. What nerve. Of course, he never has. For your information, God has put Billy Graham on earth as the re-incarnation of Jesus. If you can't grasp that, then you need to be saved. You have embarrassed Dr. Graham."
I doubt it. To quote Billy Graham about my column: "It was a very friendly, very cleverly written column, and I appreciated it."
Thank you, Billy.
Now, what I would appreciate is if there's some way you could answer the rest of my questions in the column. I know you're busy, but if you have a few moments sometime to give me a phone call or drop me a line, that'd be great.
Or, we could meet discreetly at Moe's World Famous Newport Restaurant, headquarters of the Elvis Sighting Society of which I'm co-founder. I can arrange it. By the way, did you ever meet Elvis? You two icons on stage together would have been awesome. You preaching, Elvis singing, George Beverly Shea backing him up on the bass notes.