A Glossary of Scientologese


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The only reason a person gives up a study or becomes confused or unable to learn is because he or she has gone past a word or symbol that was not understood.

- L. Ron Hubbard

At least, that's what Hubbard said in all his "non-fiction." Unfortunately, he made up new words or definitions as he went along. Thus there's a lot of potential for confusion, and it's his own fault.

This page was originally intended as a guide to unfamiliar Scientology jargon that I used on my anti-Scientology Web site. However, it's taken on a life of its own, and can nearly be regarded as a Scientology dictionary in its own right (albeit a small and skeptical one). Individual pages containing Scientologese are linked to this one at first mention, and this glossary is internally cross-referenced.

Much of this material was adapted from Martin Hunt's excellent A.r.s. Terminology FAQ, with his kind permission. Martin is a former Scientologist and much more familiar with the strange language of Scientologese than me. Therefore, this glossary should not be misconstrued as a competing FAQ.


Aberration
An instance of insanity. Also, another term for an engram, or a hidden memory of pain and unconsciousness. You are putting Dev-T on my lines because of your aberrations.
Alt.religion.scientology Central Committee (ARSCC)
There is no ARSCC. Therefore, it cannot control and co-ordinate anti-Scientology efforts worldwide, is not headed by Major Domo and his shadowy masters, the Wise Ones, and does not meet secretly on a regular basis. The Knights of Xenu (KoX) and the First Electronic Church of Scamizdat are not its subsidiaries.

Seriously, the ARSCC (which does not exist) is the same sort of troll as the Usenet Cabal (there is no Cabal) troll perpetrated on newbies (not to mention a few loudmouthed Usenet veterans). L. Ron Hubbard, ever the paranoid, often referred to various shady organizations in his voluminious "bulletins": Smersh (yes, that's right, the enemy spy organization in the James Bond novels), the "Tenyaka Memorial," the cabal of world bankers, and the Fifth Invader Fleet (insect-like aliens who are the forerunners of psychiatry), just to name a few. Church President Heber Jentzsch often accuses the "psychs" of being behind the latest Scientology scandal.

True to form, the current Church authorities see criticism on the Internet as an organized movement, supposedly headed at various times by Dennis Erlich, Jeff Jacobsen, the psychiatrists, the Cult Awareness Network, or Grady Ward. In one lawsuit, the Scientologists' infinite capacity for paranoia surfaced when attorney Helena Kobrin demanded that a defendant surrender information on a list of subjects that included the First Electronic Church of Scamizdat. You gotta laugh.

Analytical Mind
The conscious mind, capable of computing, thinking, and analyzing. Compare the reactive mind.
Auditing
The action of running Scientology or Dianetic processes on a preclear. Auditing usually involves an e-meter, with the PC holding onto the soup-can electrodes, and an Auditor taking down notes and asking questions. Auditing in the HGC costs over $500 per hour.

In solo-auditing, the preclear holds both cans in one hand and uses the other to write up his own notes. Solo auditing is part of the OT Levels, NOTs, and other advanced technology.

Barnacle
According to Hubbard's A History of Man, clams reproduced by spores. These spores grew into barnacle-like baby clams, which would sometimes explode due to inner gas buildup. Auditing out barnacle engrams is supposed to prevent toothache and tooth decay. Don't give up regular brushing.

See also clam, Piltdown man, and sloth.

Beingness
The rewarding experience of being something or someone. Hubbard wrote that "[t]he ability to assume or to grant beingness is probably the highest of human virtues. It is even more important to be able to permit other people to have beingness than to be able oneself to assume it."[1] Wooo.
Big Win
Something seen as being of great benefit, but tending to be nebulous, or incomprehensible to Scientology outsiders. I had such Big Wins all week on the Purif. I began to see what really lies behind my case! See also Win.
Blow
1. v.t. To get rid of the charge or mass of an engram. I blew so much mass at my session!
2. To leave suddenly, e.g. to quit Scientology: This sucks. I'm blowing the org tonight.
3. n. The person who does this. Sam blew off post today; he's our third blow this week!
Body Thetan (BT)
According to the OT III document, "a thetan who is stuck to another thetan or body but is not in control." A BT is just like any other Thetan except that he doesn't have a body of his own, so he has to stick to someone else's. Hubbard even said that "[o]ne's body is a mass of individual thetans stuck to oneself or to the body." Everyone is literally teeming with BTs, and the higher OT levels are concerned with auditing them away, as being infested with BTs is spiritually harmful.
Bridge to Total Freedom, The
The Bridge is the track of auditing processes needed to achieve the highest level of Scientology achievement (currently OT VIII). A Scientologist can go up the Bridge in one of two ways: first, by training to be an auditor and working through the grades of auditor qualification; second, by receiving auditing and working through the grades, OT levels, etc.

Interestingly, in Scientology one goes "up" the Bridge rather than "across" it as would be expected. Maybe it's a drawbridge, and someone forgot to close it.

Cans
The electrodes of the e-meter, made of soup cans with the ends removed and the label washed off. The preclear holds them in his hands during auditing.
Case
The sum of one's problems, bad memories, engrams, BTs, overts, etc. My case has really improved by doing the Sunshine Rundown. See Reactive Mind.
Cause
The source point from which effects emanate. (Duh.)

To be at cause over something means to have the ability to create an effect in it: in plain English, to be in control of something. The opposite is to be at effect, or to have something in control of oneself. Internet critics are at cause over Scientology.

Charge
Mental mass in restimulation, contained in the reactive mind. This may not make much sense, but many things in Scientology are like that. Colloquially, charge refers to things a person may be touchy about. Jim has a lot of charge on the word "critic."
Clam
According to Hubbard's book A History of Man, man evolved from clams. The clam was an unfortunate creatures. It was easy prey for birds, which would drop it from great heights to crack its shell. It would be tossed onto the beach by the surf and left to bake in the sun. It would get swamped by waves while trying to breathe (air!) and have to pump salt water out of its shell. It was in constant inner conflict about whether its shell should be open or closed. When restimulated in modern man, these engrams produce fear of heights, sunburns, inability to cry, and dental problems, respectively. Seriously.

Hubbard's kookery has inspired a running gag on alt.religion.scientology. "Clam" has become a disparaging term for Scientologists, and jokes about clams, clambakes, clam chowder, and steamed clams abound. This has been interpreted as some as anti-religious bigotry; some critics have seen merit in this and eased up on the name-calling.

For more of Hubbard's paleobiological howlers, see barnacle, Piltdown man, and sloth.

Clear
Clear, a person audited enough to be free of the reactive mind. Samantha just had her Clear Certainty Rundown, and is now considered a clear!

The state of Clear was the ultimate goal of the Scientologist. Clears were supposed to have perfect memory, perfect vision, and freedom from illness, among other superior attributes. When more and more Scientologists audited to Clear and didn't turn into supermen, Hubbard revised the Bridge so that the Operating Thetan was the desired goal of Scientology.

Cognition
A sudden realization about oneself having to do with Scientology. Fanny had a cognition about how her father was a big Suppressive during Session; now she's on the PTS/SP course.
Dead Agent
According to Scientologists, "dead-agenting" (or DAing) means refuting false information, thereby discrediting the person who gave it. Supposedly the term comes from Sun-Tzu's The Art of War. DAing really means assassinating a person's character so thoroughly that his reputation is utterly destroyed. The more outrageous the assertions about the dead agent, the better. Favourite targets of Scientology's spin doctors are the now-defunct Cult Awareness Network (CAN) and similar groups, skeptical writers, and Jeff Jacobsen.
Declaring
Blacklisting within the cult. Someone who has been declared is a Suppressive Person.
Developed Traffic (Dev-T)
A particle sent unnecessarily to the improper terminal; a waste of time or an item which slows down the all-important production inside Scientology.
Disconnect
To sever ties with family, friends, and loved ones. The cult often forces its members to do this when these same loved ones are declared Suppressive Persons (often for expressing doubts about the victim's involvement in the cult). Until the member disconnects, he is a Potential Trouble Source for Scientology, too. "I was ordered to disconnect from my wife after she was declared."
E-meter
The Hubbard Electropsychometer, a crude battery-powered analog ohmmeter ostensibly used to locate overts, Body Thetans, and engrams. The preclear holds the soup-can electrodes, while the auditor watches the needle on the dial. The meter, designed by Volney Mathison, is based on the Wheatstone Bridge (see below). "Top of the line" Super Mark VIII models sell for about $4,000 US in a plastic case. Parts would cost about $50-$100 at Radio Shack, so it's a good money earner for Scientology, particularly since every auditor is required to own two in case one breaks down.

The meter is based on an extremely simple circuit invented by Sir Charles Wheatstone in the 19th century, which is an accurate means of measuring electrical resistance (see diagram). Four sources of resistance - three variable resistors (R1, R3, and R4) and one unknown (Rx) - are connected in a diamond. A DC galvanometer (G) is connected across opposite corners of the diamond, and a DC power supply (B) across the other two corners. The bridge is "balanced" when R5 is zeroed and R1, R3, and R4 are adjusted so that the galvanometer does not deflect when the two switches S1 and S2 are closed. The unknown resistance can then be computed by the equation Rx = R1R4/R3.[2]

Scientologists are not the only quacks to use e-meter devices. James Randi writes,

A Dr. Reinhold Voll of Germany claims to have discovered the principle of using a "galvanic skin effect" as a diagnostic tool. Dr. Ernst Roscher of Frankfurt also claimed to have invented a slightly different version of this diagnostic application designed to determine whether medicine would be effective for a patient. An attempt by Roscher to market his Probe in the USA through JS&A Products was made in 1983.

In all of these applications the "galvanic skin effect" is ineffective in determining anything except skin resistance.[3]

The Church makes mystical claims about the e-meter's use: it supposedly measures "mental mass," or "charge," which manifests itself as a change in skin resistance, and therefore is able to indicate the spiritual state of the preclear. The various ways in which the meter's needle can behave are supposed to tell the auditor something about the preclear's mental state. For example, the violent waving motion known as a "Rock Slam" indicates an evil intention. Unfortunately for this theory, the contact between the meter and the preclear is so unreliable that significant meter motion can be caused merely by manipulating the cans in the hands; a Rock Slammer may have only loosened his grip. The e-meter, therefore, is wholly useless as a measuring device (by contrast, a netizen with some knowledge of electronics once posted that a meter using subcutaneous probes would register an almost constant reading.) There is no aspect of e-meter operation that is not readily explainable by known natural phenomena. Therefore, Scientology mysticism may be safely disregarded until the Scientologists come up with hard evidence that "mental mass" exists and mind-reading is possible. See Ockham's Razor.

Engram
A posited memory trace that remains after a moment of pain and unconsciousness. Hubbard didn't coin this word (although he did make up this definition); it is part of the International Scientific Vocabulary, and can be found in Webster's: a hypothetical change in neural tissue postulated in order to account for persistence of memory.
Enturbulate
Scientologese for "to upset." Milne found alt.religion.scientology so enturbulating, he ran away. Why Hubbard would invent a ridiculous, four-syllable word like enturbulate when the perfectly good upset is available defies rational explanation. Of course, it's in good company with the rest of Scientology.
Exteriorize
To leave the body. Scientologists believe we can step outside our bodies in the form of a disembodied Thetan, and hover about looking at things. This is deemed to be a very important goal of every Scientologist, usually only obtained at the highest OT level. OT VIIs and VIIIs who have left the cult claim it is an induced hallucination. Exteriorization is the goal of the End of Endless Int Rundown.

Interiorize, the opposite of exteriorize, means to be unfortunately stuck inside one's body. Poor Scientologist!

Flag
The code name for the Apollo, former flagship of the Sea Org. Hubbard was the self-proclaimed Commodore of his toy navy, and he lived aboard Flag. When the Sea Org came ashore and headquartered at Clearwater, Florida, they set up the Flag Land Base, an Advanced Org.
Freedom
Scientology's Newspeak-monikered propaganda newsletter. "Investigative Reporting in the Public Interest," declares the masthead. Freedom's "reporting" is more in Scientology's interest than anyone else's: stories are usually conspiratorial, sensationalistic, or self-serving, and frequently omit details that would make the reader less than sympathetic toward Scientology.

Case in point: the special Canadian edition "A Conspiracy Revealed" paints the Church as the victim of a government and psychiatric conspiracy to destroy it. This issue, released after the Supreme Court of Canada upheld a libel judgment against the Church by Mr. Justice Casey Hill, says the Church's libel of Hill was "sincerely believed to be true when uttered."[4] This spin on the facts is disingenous and false. The Church brought contempt of court charges against Judge Hill (then Ontario Crown Attorney Hill) for his alleged misdeeds. However, their own investigation later revealed no evidence of wrongdoing. Knowing the accusation to be false, they brought Hill to trial anyway. The Church libeled Judge Hill knowingly and maliciously beyond a reasonable doubt.

Free Zone
A loose affiliation of people who still believe in some of the ideas of Scientology, but who have left the formal structure of the cult, in a type of Scientology Reformation. The Free Zone is a little more liberal than the hard-core Churchies, as they like to call people in the cult proper, yet they often still have the trappings of Scientology and the use of disparaging terms for outsiders.
Galactic Federation
According to the OT III document, a confederation of seventy-six planets orbiting stars visible from Earth. Seventy-five million years ago the Federation flourished under the rule of Xenu, but it's deserted now.
Godwin's Law
A rhetorical axiom proposed by lawyer and netizen Mike Godwin. The Law states that sooner or later, one side or another in a debate will bring up the Nazis (as the epitome of evil and nastiness). At this point the debate has become irrelevant and will soon die out. However, Godwin's Law cannot be invoked to end the argument: "You mentioned the Holocaust, so I win!" doesn't count. Neither does every reference to Nazis automatically invoke the Law: obviously, in debates about World War II or organized anti-Semitism, discussion of Hitler and the Nazis is wholly relevant.

Like Ockham's Razor, Godwin's Law does not apply specifically to Scientology, but it is good to keep in mind nonetheless. (See, for example, the quotation from Rev. Buttnor on this site's top-level page.)

Guardian's Office
The cult's KGB-like intelligence wing, responsible for attacking SPs, smearing Scientology's perceived enemies, framing political figures and judges, intimidating witnesses, etc. Now renamed the Office of Special Affairs (OSA), in typical Orwellian fashion.
Handle
To fix something up or solve a problem. Those SPs are picketing the org again. Send some lawyers out to handle them.
Hat
1. n. A post or job. She's wearing the Ethics Hat now.
2. v. To train for a post or job.
Hubbard Guidance Center (HGC)
The place where the expensive auditing of Scientology processes is done. The HGC is down the hall on the right.
Implant
A hypnotic suggestion, smashed into one's mind millions or billions of years ago in Hubbard's space-opera Scientology cosmology. One Implant was installed using giant movie screens.
Incident Two
Seventy-five million years ago Xenu, the evil galactic overlord, froze us, then blew us up with H-bombs on Hawaii. Also called the Wall of Fire, or the OT III incident. The cover of Dianetics is meant to symbolize this cataclysmic event, and compel wogs to buy the book by restimulating them.
Invalidate
According to Scientology's Technical Dictionary, invalidating means "[r]efuting or degrading or discrediting or denying something someone else considers to be fact." In other words, telling someone he's wrong. It doesn't appear to matter whether you are merely gainsaying him or legitimately correcting error; invalidation is still a refusal to grant beingness to that person and is therefore a big no-no.
Kobrigram
Email messages sent by Scientology lawyer Helena K. Kobrin, threatening legal action against netizens who quote even minute amounts from formerly confidential Scientology scriptures. Apparently Kobrin is unfamiliar with "fair comment," and unaware that email is not a valid form of legal service or that she has no jurisdiction outside of the United States. (Of course, I am not a lawyer.) Kobrigrams typically come from Kobrin's account at Netcom, hkk@netcom.com.

Kobrigram made Wired magazine's "Jargon Watch" feature in January 1996.

Lines
Scientology's auditing and academy (training) services. Ken isn't on lines at Flag any more.
Locational
A light auditing technique that gets the thetan centered in the MEST universe, so he knows where he is. The technique involves making the preclear look at trees, cars, people, touch books, etc. Gary is outside doing a locational on Robert. Watching Sesame Street is cheaper.
Mass
See Charge.
MEST
An acronym for Matter, Energy, Space and Time; the physical universe. In Scientology, Theta is the ultimate reality. MEST is an illusion, created by bored Thetans as a game, only they got stuck in it. Oops. The ultimate goal of Scientology is to regain control over MEST.
Miscavige, David
Officially the chairman of the board of the Religious Technology Center, but really the de facto head of Scientology and all its organizations. Disparagingly called many names by a.r.s. regulars, including "Poodleboy," "Tidy Bowl Man," "Miss Cabbage," "Miscarriage," and "the asthmatic dwarf." Miscavige is one of the few persons to have his very own emoticon: (*). (Use your imagination.)
Mission Earth
This massive ten-volume "dekalogy" is Hubbard's last work of science fiction. It is the fictional confession of an agent of the Coordinated Information Apparatus (CIA, get it?) of the planet Voltar, who is running a secret agent on Earth to try and clean the planet up. The catch is, the mission is set up to fail. Mission Earth is a sort of Pilgrim's Progress of Scientology, only not as entertaining. If Hubbard condensed the whole story into one volume, it would still only be half-decent. Hubbard claimed this was a work of satire; the New York Times said it was
a paralyzingly slow-moving adventure enlivened by interludes of kinky sex, sendups of effeminate homosexuals and a disregard of conventional grammar so global as to suggest a satire on the possibility of communication through language.[5]

Interestingly, the Church claims that its Operation Snow White was a legitimate attempt to correct false information about Scientology, which was set up to fail by the CIA. Also, Scientologist John Travolta named his son Jett after Jettero Heller, one of the characters in Mission Earth.

New Era Dianetics for Operating Thetans (NOTs)
New Era Dianetics (NED) is Dianetics on the whole track, your last 75 trillion years. NED for OTs is abbreviated NOTs. NOTs that are solo-audited are called called Solo NOTs. See also OT Levels.
Ockham's (or Occam's) Razor
A logical axiom proposed by William of Ockham, a fifteenth-century Christian philosopher and logician. Also known as the principle of economy, Ockham's Razor states that "entities should not be multiplied unnecessarily." That is, if you have two competing theories to explain some observation, you should favour the simpler of the two until you discover evidence to the contrary.

Ockham's Razor is not specifically Scientology-related, but it's usually a good principle to keep in mind while evaluating the claims of Scientology or any pseudoscience. For another noteworthy axiom, see Godwin's Law.

Operating Thetan (OT)
One who is above Clear, a state of partial enlightenment, and who is not just free of unconscious impulses, but is free of other things too so that they can operate in, and be at cause over the physical universe.
Org
Short for organization; a cult group, internally called a "Church." An Advanced Org, or Class XII Org, is an org where Scientologists can receive Advanced Technology, such as the OT Levels.
OT Levels
Solo-audited and expensive processes at the top of the Scientology "Bridge." The OT levels are meant to bring out the supernatural abilities of the Scientologist and turn him into an Operating Thetan. The levels currently run from OT I to OT VIII. Some highlights:
  • OT I consists of walking around counting people and similar god-like activities.
  • OT III is the famous Wall of Fire incident featuring Xenu.
  • OT V is the first of the NOTs.
  • OT VII contains instructions for talking to plants, trees, etc. through telepathy.
  • OT VIII allegedly reveals that "Source is the 8th Dynamic" (i.e., Hubbard is God). After you've spent over a quarter of a million dollars on processing, Hubbard better be God.
An OT VIII document of disputed authenticity claims Ron is the Antichrist prophesied in the Bible and Jesus Christ was a foul-tempered pederast. Even if it isn't genuine Hubbard, it's definitely Hubbardian in tone. In one lecture, Hubbard once said of Christ: "The man on the cross. There was no Christ. But the man on the cross is shown as Everyman."

The Scientology Bridge has provisions for levels up to OT XV; however, the powers-that-be have said that they will not release OT IX until all the present Orgs are the size that the Saint Hill Org in East Grinstead, England, was in the 60s. Don't mortgage the house just yet.

Overt
An evil act. Of course, it's only an overt if it hurts Scientology; shooting an SP could be redefined as not being an overt, as you did it to help to "clear the planet." What overts have you committed against Scientology?
Particle
A person seen as a thing to be routed, or a piece of information in the cult's communication theory.
Piltdown man
Piltdown man, an ancient ape-like descendent of modern man, did numerous silly things like eating his wife, which restimulate into marital difficulties. Hubbard is careful to differentiate this remote ancestor from the real Piltdown man, with whom it has only similarity. Good thing, too, because the "real" Piltdown man wasn't. When Hubbard wrote A History of Man the exposure of the Piltdown hoax was still a year away. The Church still publishes the book anyway: Hubbard wrote it, Scientologists believe it, that settles it. See also barnacle, clam, and sloth.
Potential Trouble Source (PTS)
1. n. Someone who is in contact with an SP or an anti-Scientology person, and therefore may cause trouble to the cult. Mary is a PTS type III.
2. adj. The state of being a PTS. The grammar is confusing. Mary is PTS to John does not mean that Mary is a potential source of trouble for John, as regular English usage and common sense suggest. It means she is a potential source of trouble to Scientology because of her association with John. Ironically, Scientology claims it can improve communication skills.
Potential Trouble Source Type III (PTS Type III)
A person suffering a psychotic breakdown due to a connection with an anti-Scientologist or a psychiatrist.
Preclear (PC)
Someone who is getting auditing toward Clear. "Preclear" is also used loosely to mean anyone taking Scientology "therapy," whether Clear or not.
Process
1. n. An auditing or therapy action.

2, v.t. To audit a preclear. A coldly distant term for Scientology's "therapy", which itself can be very cold and distant. The term shows Hubbard's lack of respect for the people he conned out of their money for his quack cult therapy.

Psych
Derogatory cult term for psychiatrists. Scientologist paranoia views psychiatrists and psychologists as being the ultimate in evil and corruption on Earth. They are out to destroy us all by cutting out our brains with transorbital leucotomies, or zapping us into submission with electro-convulsive therapy (ECT), or zombifying us with antidepressant pharmaceuticals like Prozac. The cult's front group the Citizen's Commission on Human Rights (CCHR) (another Newspeak name), is dedicated to destroying the psychs, who are really insect-like members of the Fifth Galactic Invader Force, which threatens our very existence on this planet. Actually, psychiatry is Scientology's main competition; if the marks spend their money on a licenced practitioner, they can't spend it on Scientology.
PTS/SP Course
A training pack that deals with how to handle and disconnect from Potential Trouble Sources and Suppressive Persons that are enturbulating you. Usually these criminals are in the cult member's immediate family.
Public
1. Scientology practitioners who are not Sea Org members or staff, who therefore pay for processing.
2. People outside of Scientology; wogs.
3. As a technical term in public relations, a public is an intended audience for a communication, roughly speaking. Hubbard used the term frequently in his series of administrative policy memos about PR.
Purification Rundown (Purif)
A cleansing process intended to remove drugs supposedly stored in body fat. The preclear runs, takes megadoses of vitamins and minerals, and sweats in a sauna for hours every day. The Purif costs roughly $1,500, and takes about two weeks to do. There is no scientific evidence to back up the cult of Scientology's claims about the supposed benefits of the Purif.
Reactive Mind
The place where Engrams are stored. Higher-level Scientologists learn that engrams are none other than Body Thetans. Also called the bank.
Religious Technology Center (RTC)
Whatever a "religious technology" might be, the RTC is the subsidiary of Scientology that holds the Church's copyrights and trademarks. Scientology is the only religion around that claims intellectual property rights on salvation. Of course, if the laughable "tech" were made free and public - say, on the Internet - who would pay $300,000 for it?

David Miscavige is the RTC's chairman of the board, and Warren McShane is its president. Lawyer Helena K. Kobrin, who represents the RTC, is best known for threatening netizens with kobrigrams.

Restimulate
To cue unpleasant memories.
Rundown
A form of Scientology process.
Scamizdat
1. An ezine that was published infrequently between late 1994 and early 1996 containing many secret Scientology scriptures, policy letters, and lecture transcripts. Scamizdat ran from issue #2 to issue #12, issue #1 being intentionally omitted in honour of all the critical exposés that had come before.

Notable issues include #6, containing the six-part Los Angeles Times feature on Scientology; #9, containing L. Ron Hubbard's laughable book A History of Man; and #10, containing the Fishman declaration, the infamous court document that included the OT levels as appendices.

2. The anonymous person or persons who posted Scamizdat to alt.religion.scientology. At the time of writing, the Church has accused netizen Grady Ward of California of being Scamizdat and sued him for copyright infringement. However, their case seems exceedingly weak at this point.

The name Scamizdat is a combination of scam and samizdat, the underground press that circlulated dissident literature in the Soviet Union.

Sea Org
The commanding and controlling element in the cult, partly working off ships, partly land-based at Flag in Clearwater, Florida, and other places, most notably the Cedars Complex in Los Angeles. Hubbard was a Navy officer in WWII, if an incompetent one, and so in the late 60s he set himself up as the Commodore of his own toy navy. Nowadays the cult has only one ship, the yacht with the Newspeak name Freewinds. The Sea Org motto is "We Come Back." Sea Org members will have to, for multiple reincarnations: they agree to serve for a billion years.
Session
An auditing regimen. The preclear patient holds the cans, and the auditor "therapist" conducts the session. Also called processing.
Sloth
Yet another of man's evolutionary ancestors, according to Hubbard in A History of Man. The sloth was a particular pathetic ancestor. It got knocked out of trees by snakes. When it was attacked by baboons, it fell over cliffs. These engrams produce fear of snakes and of falling in modern men. See also barnacle, clam, and Piltdown man.
Snow White, Operation
The Scientology code name for a cult espionage operation. Snow White's goal was to infiltrate government offices and purge their files of incriminating material that made the cult look bad. More than a million pages of documents were stolen from over one hundred government departments in Canada and the United States, including the IRS, the US Attorney's office, the Ontario Provincial Police, and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Hubbard's wife, Mary Sue, was sentenced in 1980 to five years in jail for the operation, which was carried out by operatives in the Guardian's Office.
Staff
Scienologists who have contracted to work for the Church for three or five years. The hours are long and the pay abysmal. On the bright side, staff members get their processing for free - that is, until they blow and the Church saddles them with a retroactive "Freeloader Debt."
Success Story
A coerced write-up required to complete any auditing "therapy" action. Success Stories are usually filled with bland, often vacuous statements about "blowing mass," "having cognitions," and "big wins."
Sunshine Rundown
An expensive auditing "therapy" routine similar to a locational, in which the preclear is told to look at things about them.
Suppressive Person (SP)
An evil person; someone who criticizes Scientology in any way.
SP Levels
A badge of harrassment worn with pride by ars posters. The SP levels mock the OT levels, and show how suppressive a particular participant to a.r.s. is; the higher the level, the more damage that critic has done to Scientology, and the more fire they have drawn in the process.
Terminal
a fully hatted person on their post, which particles can be sent to and from. A dehumanizing term for people, but not a derogatory word inside the cult. After being Declared, your only Terminal is the International Justice Chief.
Theta
1. n. Life force. The universe was constructed by Theta.
2. adj. Positive, groovy. I saw Far and Away last night. It was a really theta movie.
Thetan
Soul or spirit. In Scientology the Thetan is the sum total of the individual, which inhabits a physical body and is capable of transmigration between bodies. This neo-Platonic view of the soul contrasts with the traditional Christian view, in which the individual comprises body and soul in union.

Scientology also postulates a Genetic Entity (GE). The GE is a sort of low-grade soul that stores engrams from the whole track, like the clam incident. The concept of the GE can be hard to understand until one has a cognition that it is nonsense, like much of Scientology.

Whole Track
The timeline of trillions of years - yes, trillions - of memory Scientologists claim to have. Sally has major overts from six million years ago on her Whole Track.
Win
A success from a Scientology perspective. David Miscavige announced some Big Wins we had in Germany in 1994.
Wog
A derogatory and racist term the cult co-opted from British slang, and now uses to refer to people outside of Scientology's purview.
Xenu
The evil galactic ruler that packaged us all up, dumped us into Hawaiian volcanoes, and blew us up with H-bombs 75,000,000 years ago. The volcano on the cover of Dianetics is meant to restimulate this incident implanted by Xenu, and force us to buy a copy. What's that you say? Hawaii didn't exist 75,000,000 years ago? Shhh! You'll wake him!

Hubbard said Xenu was also known as Xemu. The One True Spelling of the name is the primary cause of holy wars among the ARSCC's religious factions.

In honour of this pivotal event in human history, my Fidonet pointnode's unofficial name is "Xenu's Famous House of Clams," where I can be reached via netmail at 1:221/1401.7 until further notice.


Notes

[1] L. Ron Hubbard, Scientology: The Fundamentals of Thought (Los Angeles: Bridge, 1988) 29.

[2] Ralph P. Winch, Electricity and Magnetism, 2nd ed. (Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall, 1963) 31.

[3] James Randi, The Supernatural A-Z: The Truth and the Lies (London: Headline, 1995) 117.

[4] Janet Laveau, "The Chilling of Freedom," Freedom, "A Conspiracy Revealed" 1995: inside front cover.

[5] Qtd. in Jon Atack, A Piece of Blue Sky: Scientology, Dianetics and L. Ron Hubbard Exposed (New York: Lyle Stuart, 1990) 398.


Index

Warning! The Bridge is Out  * Scientology: An Overview  * Scientology, Free Speech and "Religious Persecution"  * The Amoral Cult
For More Information  * Glossary  * History

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Created January 26, 1998 (Dead Ron Day) by Scott McClare. Revision A04 April 3, 1998

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