"Then Father Seraphim gripped me firmly by the shoulders and said: "My friend, both of us, at this moment, are in the Holy Spirit, you and I. Why won't you look at me?".."I can't look at you, Father, because the light flashing from your eyes and face is brighter than the sun and I'm dazzled!".."Don't be afraid, friend of God, you yourself are shining just like I am; you too are now in the fullness of the grace of the Holy Spirit, otherwise you wouldn't be able to see me as you do." ...Then I looked at the Staretz and was panic-stricken. Picture, in the sun's orb, in the most dazzling brightness of its noon-day shining, the face of the man who is talking to you. You see his lips moving, the expression in his eyes, you hear his voice, you feel his arms round your shoulders, and yet you see neither his arms, nor his body, nor his face, you lose all sense of yourself, you can see only the blinding light which spreads everywhere, lighting up the layer of snow covering the glade, and igniting the flakes that are falling on us like white powder.."What do you feel?" asked Father Seraphim.."An amazing well-being!" I replied.."But what exactly is it?".."I feel a great calm in my soul, a peace which no words can express".."This is the peace, friend of God, which the Lord promised to his disciples when he said: 'Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you'(John 14.27). It is the peace which the Apostle calls `the peace which passes all understanding' (Phil. 4.7). This is what is filling your heart now. And what else do you feel?".."A strange, unknown delight.".."Yes...What more do you feel?".."An amazing happiness fills my heart."..."Do you feel anything else, my friend?" .."I'm amazingly warm."..."It's the warmth one feels in a hot bath.".."Does it smell like that?".."Oh no, nothing on earth can be compared to this!...".."I know," said Father Seraphim, smiling, "Its the same with me...It is indeed true, friend of God, that no scent on earth can be compared with this fragrance, because it comes from the Holy Spirit. By the way, you've just told me that you have been feeling the warmth of a hot bath, but look: the snow settling on us isn't melting, neither on you nor on me. That shows that the warmth isn't in the air but is within us. This is what the Holy Spirit causes us to ask God for when we cry to him: `Kindle in us the fire of the Holy Spirit!' Warmed by it, hermits are not afraid of winter hardship, protected as they are by the mantle of grace which the Holy Spirit has woven for them...At this moment we are with those whom the Lord mentions as not tasting death before they see the kingdom of God come with power (Luke 9.27; Nark 9.1). Now you know, my friend, what it's like to be in the fullness of the Holy Spirit, as Macarius the Great writes: "It was as though I were engulfed in the outpouring of the Holy Spirit.' This is what we are filled with today, in spite of our unworthiness...The fact that I am a monk and you a layman doesn't make any difference. What counts in God's eyes is true faith in him and in his only Son. It is for this that the grace of the Holy Spirit is given us; the Lord seeks hearts overflowing with love for him and their neigbour, and this is the throne where he would sit and reveal himself in the fullness of his glory. `My son, give me your heart', he says (Prov. 23.26). For in the heart he builds the kingdom of God..Well then friend of God, now that you've had the privilege of the favour just granted to you, tell it to all men seeking salvation. `The harvest is plentiful, but the labourers are few' (matt. 9.37; Luke 10.2)...The Lord is near to all who are faithful to him and who love him with their whole heart. He answers a layman's prayer just as he does s monk's, provided they are both living in faith, even if this faith is no bigger than a grain of mustard seed. Yes, he enables them both to move mountains, because `all things are possible to him who believes' (Mark 9.25). Thus it is, friend of God, that you will be able to obtain from God everything that you ask him, whether it is for his glory or for your neigbour's benefit. Besides, you know well that whatever you ask for the benefit of others redounds to his glory, as he himself has said: 'As you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me' (Matt. 25.40)." (Valentine Zander, _St. Seraphim of Sarov_, London: SPCK, 1975 [Trans. Sister Gabriel Anne s.s.c.], pp.90-94).

June, 1996

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Index