Hockey Jokes

On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sight seeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Pope mobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore. A helpless man, wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark.

As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing Ottawa Senator jerseys aboard. One quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Leaf fan from the water. Then using baseball bats, the three heroes beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was some bitter hatred between Leaf and Sens fans, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not the truth."

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies "Who was that?" "It was the Pope," one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom." "Well," the harpooner said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know much about shark fishing." "How's the bait holding up?"

The Toronto Maple Leafs and the LA Kings were playing each other during the playoffs and after one particularly aggressive game, the Leafs goalie Felix Potvin felt he had to address the situation.
Felix called up Wayne Gretsky and invited him over for an informal BBQ to bury the hatchet. Wayne replied that he would attend, but could he bring his dad, who was in town to watch he game. Felix agreed without reservation.
As mealtime approached, Felix also invited some neighbourhood kids to the BBQ, so they could meet Gretsky.
A dozen boys came and were wonderstruck the entire evening. The next day at the local Catholic school, the entire class was abuzz with the news, so the teacher asked one of the boys what it was like to BBQ with Potvin & Gretsky. The boy replied "It was just like heaven, we met the father, son and the goalie host".

Hockey Jokes

Why do Maple Leafs fans drink from a saucer?
Because the cup's always in Montreal!

What's the difference between the Calgary Flames and a bra?
A bra has 2 cups!

Why is the Hockey Hall Of Fame in Toronto?
It's the only way Leafs fans can get to see the Stanley Cup!

Hockey players have been complaining about violence for years. It's just that without any teeth, no one can understand them.

Reporter to hockey player: "Did you ever break your nose?"
Player: "No, but eleven other players did!"

What do you call 16 players and a coaching staff watching the stanley cup playoffs on a big screen?
The Ottawa Senators.