Hockey Jokes

This page is for all the Toronto Maple Leafs fans.
Same jokes but for Ottawa Senators fans.

One day, this guy was sitting in a bar having a drink. All of a sudden he's startled by three Ottawa Senators hockey players cheering, "Fifteen! Fifteen!" He ignores them and continues to drink.
About 5 minutes later, the hockey players again cheer, "Fifteen! Fifteen!"
At this, the guy then walks over and asks them why they keep cheering, "Fifteen! Fifteen!"
The hockey players respond, "Well, we went to Walmart and bought this jigsaw puzzle, which we put together in 15 weeks! Considering that the side of the box said 3-5 years."

"He's great on the rink" a sportswriter said of a young Ottawa
Senators player in a interview with his coach.
"But's how's his scholastic work?"
"Why, he makes straight A's," replied the coach.
"Wonderful!" said the sportswriter.
"Yes," agreed the coach, "but his B's are a little crooked."

Q: What do you call a Ottawa Senators player with half a brain?
A: Gifted!

Q: How do Senators players braincells die?
A: Alone.

Q: Why is it good to have a Ottawa Senators player as a passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: How do you make a Ottawa Senators player eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in his ear.

Q: How can you tell if a Ottawa Senators hockey player has been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.

Q: How can you tell if another Ottawa Senators hockey player been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.

Q: What did the Ottawa Senators hockey player think of the new computer?
A: He didn't like it because he couldn't get channel 9.

Q:Why do Ottawa Senators hockey players drive BMWs?
A: Because they can spell it.

Q: Why do Senators hockey players have TGIF on their skates?
A: Toes Go In First.

Q: If a Ottawa Senators player and a Toronto Maple Leafs player are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The Maple Leafs player. The Ottawa Senators player has to stop to ask for directions.

Q: What happens when a Ottawa Senators player gets Alzheimers disease?
A: His IQ goes up!

Q: Why did the Ottawa Senators player scale the glass partition?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: What do you call 10 Ottawa Senators players standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: What did the Senators player say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag)
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"

Q: What does a Senators player say when you blow in his ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"

Q: What is it called when a Senators player blows in another Senators players ear?
A: Data transfer.

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a Senators players head?
A: A Space Invader.

Q: What's a Senators players favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.

Q: What do you see when you look into a Ottawa Senators players eyes?
A: The back of his head.

Q: Why do Senators players drive VW's?
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!

Q: How do you make a Senators player laugh on Monday morning?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!

Q: How did the Senators player break his leg raking leaves?
A: He fell out of the tree.

Q: Why did the Senators player try to steal a police car?
A: He saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: What do you call a Ottawa Senators players in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.