After dying in a car crash, three firefighters go to Heaven for orientation.
They are all asked the same question, "When you're lying in your casket, and friends and family are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"
The first guy immediately responds, "I would like to hear them say that I was one of the great fire chiefs of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and firefighter who made a huge difference doing his job."
The last guy thinks for a moment, and then replies, "I guess I'd like to hear them say,
"Look, he's moving!"
After the fire truck arrived at a burning building in a small Spanish town,
the fireighters observed a man dressed in a matador's costume prancing around on
the roof. Four of the fireighters held a safety net and urged him to escape
from the burning building by jumping into the net. He refused and loudly
proclaimed, "I'm Fearless Jose the bullfighter who fears nothing, not even
The fireighters begged and pleaded but to no avail. Jose kept prancing around
while repeating the same phrase over and over until the fireighters got really
sick and tired of hearing it. Finally, when the flames began to scorch his
butt, Jose announced he had changed his mind, was ready to jump and then
leaped off the rooftop. As his body hurtled toward the safety-net, the four
fireighters shouted, "Ole!" and quickly moved it aside.
If the fire chief and a politician both jumped out of a burning building at the same
time, which one would hit the net first?
The fire chief, because the politician would have to stop and ask for directions.
One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant. Before long it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to fire departments from miles around.
After fighting the fire for over an hour, the chemical company president approached the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved! I will give $50,000 to the engine company that brings them out safely!"
As soon as the chief heard this, he ordered the fireighters to strengthen their attack on the blaze. After two more hours of attacking the fire, the president of the company offered $100,000 to the engine company that could bring out the company's secret files.
From the distance a long siren was heard and another fire truck came into sight. It was a local volunteer fire company composed entirely of men over 65. To everyone's amazement the little fire engine raced through the Chemical plant gates and drove straight into the middle of the inferno. In the distance the other fireighters watched as the old timers hopped off of their rig and began to fight the fire with an effort that they had never seen before.
After an hour of intense fighting the volunteer company had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas. Joyous, the chemical company president announced that he would double the reward to $200,000 and walked over to personally thank each of the volunteers. After thanking each of the old men individually, the president asked the group what they intended to do with the reward money.
The fire truck driver looked him right in the eye and said, "The first thing we're going to do is fix the dang brakes on that truck!"